The Name Game
by smilelikey0umeanit
Summary: An office discussion about names puts Gerry on a mission to discover Sandra's middle name. Bad summary but it's a bit of fun so I hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: This isn't exactly the best thing I've ever produced but it's a bit of fun so enjoy! Eden xx_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own New Tricks._**

* * *

The Name Game

"Look at that guy's name. Vernon Murnaghan." Gerry chuckled, shaking his head. "Why would you do that to your kid when you were choosing their name?"

"Poor bloke, he must have been picked on at school," Jack muttered.

"Mind'st you, I used to know this bloke called Donald Donaldson, he was bloody scary, he was. Six foot tall, like a bodybuilder. You didn't wanna mess with him."

"Hmm. There's him who used to be in the Tories, what's he called? David Davis, that's it." The older man smirked. "I wouldn't want to go into politics with a name like that,"

"That's true, the Commons is like a school playground at times." Brian chipped in.

"Sandra?" Gerry caught her attention as she emerged from her office to check a detail related to their current case on the whiteboard. "Do you know anyone with a weird name, like this Vernon Murnaghan?"

"No, just you, Gerard Lestade."

"Alright, alright," he rolled his eyes as the others burst out into peals of laughter. "What's your middle name, anyway, Sandra?"

"Mine? That's for me to know and you to find out," she replied mysteriously, directing a glare at Jack which told him to keep his silence on the subject. Having found the information she needed, written on the corner of the whiteboard in green pen, she walked back into her office, closing the door softly behind her.

"Jack?" he asked almost immediately after she'd disappeared from view. "What's her middle name? She must have told you at some point."

"I've seen it on her file, but she's never mentioned it herself. That means she probably doesn't want you to know, either."

Gerry sighed, realising that he probably wasn't going to find out. He returned to his work, before a sudden thought struck him.

"Brian? You know her file inside out, you know everyone's. What is it?"

"What's what?"

"Sandra's middle name,"

Brian paused for a moment, as Jack replicated the glare that Sandra had given him just moments before, which served as a warning to keep quiet.

"Err…I can't remember. Honestly. Must have slipped my mind."

Gerry rolled his eyes. "Brian, _nothing_ slips your mind. Come on, it won't hurt. Just tell me. I won't tell her it was you. In fact, she doesn't even have to find out."

Jack maintained his look, eyebrow raised, keeping the pressure on Brian.

"Honestly, Gerry, I can't remember." He said eventually.

"Alright, alright. I'll find out another way."

"Why do you care so much anyway?" the older man questioned.

"I don't know, it's just….weird, innit? I mean, I've known Sandra for seven years and I don't even know her middle name. And, as bloody usual, everybody else knows something that I don't."

Jack shook his head, indicating that they should all get back to their various tasks. Silence descended on the office for a few moments, only broken by the soft click of fingers on keyboards and the hum of the fridge in the corner. Just as Brian was about to rest his tired eyes from the glaring light of the screen he'd been staring at for the past couple of hours, the door opened, admitting Strickland into the UCOS arena.

"Morning, how are we all?" he asked, sounding somewhat more cheery than usual.

"Good, thank you," the men nodded in unison.

Gerry frowned. Strickland would have Sandra's file, right? He must know it as well. Now was his chance.

"Sir?" he asked, before he had the chance to enter Sandra's office.

"Yes, Gerry?"

"Do you have access to Sandra's file?"

"Yes, why?"

"So you know her middle name then?"

"Yes," the younger man nodded, although he looked confused. "Can I ask why?"

"I just want to know, that's all. She won't tell me."

"Well, in that case, it's probably not my place to say." He replied, adding a brief 'sorry' and entering Sandra's office to escape the disappointed look across Gerry's face.

* * *

"Sir," she smiled falsely as he opened the door. "What can I do for you?"

"I've just come to see how you're getting on with the case, I understand you've been having a few problems with one of the suspects?"

"Yes, he has proved a bit tricky to pin down but it's nothing we can't handle. I have every confidence that we'll have this wrapped up by next week."

"Good, well, that was all I wanted to know, really. Um…Gerry was asking me if I knew your middle name, just now, is there any reason why?"

"Did you tell him?" she asked immediately.

"No, of course not, he said you wouldn't tell him so I thought it wasn't really my place to."

"Good. Thank you. It's nothing really, I don't know. I suppose I just like to keep him guessing," she admitted.

"Well, there's nothing strange about it, your name I mean. He'll be disappointed when he finds out." Strickland mused. "Not that it's boring, or anything, it's nice, it's just…" he added hastily, becoming lost for words under the uncomfortable intensity of her glare.

"Ordinary," she supplied. "That's the whole fun of it."

_**A/N: I'll leave you to make your own minds up what her middle name is ;-)  
**_


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks had passed since Gerry had first asked Sandra Pullman what her middle name was, and he _still _hadn't found out what it was. Granted, he hadn't exactly been trying very hard, but he had attempted to catch both Jack and Brian off-guard numerous times, much to the hilarity of the woman in question. He knew that it wasn't likely to be anything particularly unusual, but the more he thought about it, the more varied possibilities entered his head. Either way, he had to know, if only to stop the relentless jibes. So now it was time to up his game.

It had been a long day, and Sandra had decided to give Brian a lift home, as Esther was at book club. That meant there was only him and Jack left in the pub, and that meant that Plan A was now in full swing- get Jack drunk and get him to spill Sandra's middle name.

"Fancy another one, Jack?" he asked cheerily, nodding at the pint in front of him.

The older man sighed. "Go on then, but I'd better be getting home after that."

"Why?"

"Gerry, I'm seventy four years old. A man this age shouldn't be out past nine'o'clock."

"Come on Jack, when have you ever let age hold you back? Remember that time when you rode that motorbike in the car park, it was bloody brilliant," he grinned, already heading towards the bar. He returned two minutes later, setting down two pints of beer and two whiskeys on the table with a flourish.

"Here, get those down you," he said, resuming his seat before holding one of the pints aloft in a toast. "To old age,"

Jack looked reluctant, but eventually he shrugged and touched Gerry's glass with his own. "To old age, and trying to get people drunk to find out people's middle names."

The younger man's face fell dramatically. The game was up. "How did you know?"

"It was obvious, you've been acting bloody strange all night. You practically forced Sandra into taking Brian home, then you started trying to persuade me to stay and trying to get booze down me, why else would you do that?"

He sighed. "Alright, alright, I know. You probably wouldn't have told me anyway."

"Probably not. Look, Gerry, I know this is a bit of fun, but seriously, if Sandra doesn't want to tell you then I'm not going to. Just ask her yourself."

"Don't worry about it, mate. I will do."

* * *

"Hello, this is Gerry Standing from UCOS, I'm just enquiring about the records of serving officers…well, where do you keep them? On the computer, right. And do I need some sort of clearance to access these? Right, well I'm not a serving officer, never mind a DAC. Do you not keep hard copies anymore? They're with the DAC in charge of that unit, right. Well, thanks anyway. Bye now."

He placed the receiver back on to the main part of the phone slightly louder than he had intended to, creating a clunk which echoed around the office. Luckily Jack and Brian were out interviewing a suspect, so they hadn't heard the conversation between him and the woman from human resources, but the noise had alerted Sandra's attention, and she was eyeing him suspiciously through her office window. He was buggered if he was going to ask her, like Jack had said at the pub. Besides, what kind of detective was he if he couldn't even find out the middle name of his boss? It was becoming clear that he was only left with one real option- he had to sneak into Strickland's office and look at the file.

The window of the third floor men's toilets gave him an optimum view over the car park, and more specifically, over Strickland's car. It was approaching six in the evening, and he'd stayed behind on the pretence of completing some unfinished paperwork. Sandra had looked suspicious when he announced this, but she didn't question him about it. She was probably too surprised that he had willingly stayed behind after the usual work day had ended. Ah, finally. Strickland was making his way to his car, his briefcase in one hand and keys in the other. Gerry watched as he put the briefcase in the boot and climbed into the driving seat, the car's head lights reflecting on to the tarmacked surface, which was still wet from the heavy rain earlier that day.

Now was his chance.

Thankfully, the DAC's office was also located on the third floor, so he didn't have far to walk to reach his target. The corridors were almost deserted owing to the relatively late hour, but he still took a quick glance around him before he slipped into the room. He closed the door behind him quietly, seeking out the filing cabinet in the far corner which would contain Sandra's record. Crossing the room in a few hurried steps, he knelt down and pulled open the heavy drawer, which was full of brown manila folders. The drawer was labelled 'L-S', so he deduced that the file would either be near the front or near the back. He started at the front, which turned out to be a lucky guess- four files in was one marked 'Pullman'.

He lifted it out quickly, opening it with care and skim-reading the first sheet, which contained all her personal details. At the top, in bold font, was her full name.

Sandra Jane Pullman.

For Christ's sake. The lengths he'd gone to and it was sodding _Jane_, of all the bloody boring names…

"Gerry?"

Shit. He froze in his tracks, the file still wide open on the floor in front of him.

"Gerry, what _are_ you doing?" asked the familiar voice of Robert Strickland.

"Err…nothing, sir, I was just looking for a file."

"May I ask why you had to sneak into my office to find it?"

He sighed, standing up and turning to face his superior. "Look, I'm sorry. It's Sandra's file. It sounds stupid now, but I just wanted to find out her middle name, alright?"

The DAC's expression turned from one of anger to confusion, and finally to one of amusement. "Are you still trying to find out?" he chuckled. "It's been weeks since you first asked me."

"Well I know now, don't I? Bloody Jane," he muttered, which escalated the other man's chuckles to full-blown laughter.

"I must admit Gerry, I'm impressed at the lengths you've gone to in order to find out. Good detective work,"

"Thank you sir," he said through gritted teeth. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I forgot some paperwork that needs completing before tomorrow, I came back to pick it up. How did you know I wouldn't be here?"

He sighed. So now he looked like a bloody stalker as well as an absolute idiot in front of his boss, fabulous.

"I waited until I saw you leave," he admitted, his face turning a deeper shade of red. "Look, can you not tell Sandra about this?"

"Of course not. As much as I hate to admit it, your antics do amuse me sometimes, Gerry. And if you need access to a file again in the future, ask first."

"Yes sir, I'll don't think I'll need any more files for a while though," he smirked.

"You're probably right. Go on, get yourself home."

He closed the file, returning it to its original place and firmly closing the drawer before exiting the office as quickly as he could without breaking into a sprint. The next time he wanted to find out someone's middle name, he was definitely just going to ask.


End file.
